Attitude Problems

[Carrie Weimer]

Hi, I hope y’all can help me.

My daughter started with the orange book in first grade. She completed the orange, red, blue and green. She loved math. I let her pick what subject she wants to start the day with and it was always math. That is until this year. She just started yellow. Every day she sits and looks at the book and cries. I mention the word math and she comes up with excuses about why she cannot do it right now. The other day it took her 8 hours to finish one page. I do not have it in front of me, but she is in the section on subtracting with borrowing. She knows how to do it, she just will not. I know this because I told my other children that they could watch a video. She could not because she had not finished her work, but when she was finished and the video was still on, she could watch it. She finished in about 15 minutes, all of the answers were correct. This tells me it is her attitude that is the problem, not the material.

This started when we started the yellow book. I have set timers, I have gotten her different pencils, I have let her change her location to anywhere inside or outside, I have told her that she can have a reward for completing her math work. None of it is helping. I do not know what else to do. The only way she gets her math work finished is if I stand there and tell her step by step what to do. If I ask her what comes next, she knows what to do, but will not do it. I have asked her why she does not do it. She states that it is too boring, she would rather be playing or reading a book than doing school work. I told her hurry and finish, and she can do those things. She just starts crying. I have two other children that I homeschool. She will not let me work with them because they are distracted by her crying. She also asks questions while I am trying to work with them. I tell her that I cannot answer her right now, but when I am finished with what I am doing I will. That she needs to go do a different problem. She does not. She sits and cries loudly right next to us.

She does not have this problem with any other subject. Just math. I have tried other programs, it is worse, so I came back to Miquon.

Does anyone have any other ideas? I am out of ideas.

[Janice Price]

Hello Carrie,

She’s presenting quite a challenge, isn’t she? You’ve obviously given the analysis a great deal of thought and you seem very perceptive. An easy way to look at is that she is doing what she’s doing because she wants what she wants. Your job is to figure out what she wants and to change that so she wants what you want. I have a couple of suggestions for you to try.

Try to get her involved in solving the problem. Let her know that “no math” is not one of the options but that you will listen to all reasonable alternatives. It might be interesting to see what she suggests. Maybe it’s the one on one focus from you that she wants or just to do other school work instead. Maybe she will suggest and agree to a set reward system. If she is invested in the solution – if it’s “her” solution, she will be more willing to keep her end of the bargain.

You don’t mention whether your other children are older or younger but if younger, she may think that they are having more fun and that she is having to “work” too hard. Maybe you can factor in special privileges that she gets solely because she is older.

I’m not a big fan of the “take a break from it” option but sometimes that seems to be the answer. You could simply not do any math for a couple of weeks and evaluate the situation. Or you could combine that with the above suggestion and incorporate that as an option she could negotiate (time off after finishing the Yellow Book, for instance). You might try giving her “vacation days” like a person who works. She could have control of when to use them, knowing that when they’re gone, they’re gone.

These are just a few ideas. I’m sure others have encountered the same situation and will have some ideas. Let us know what works!

~ Janice

[Carrie Weimer]

I let my Husband handle it. Every day when he got home from work, they would work together on it. Now that she is finished with that section, she has no problems. She finishes her work in 15 – 30 minutes! I do not understand. I guess that it is just the way she is, subtraction with borrowing brings trears, but multiplication with fractions brings giggles.

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